9.10.2020 | Managing Depression With Marijuana
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Today I am smoking a combination of Jack F1 with some hash sprinkled on top – smoking from my pipe instead of the bong. If you watched this week’s video you know how the Jack F1 hits me 😉 Seeing as my depression is still around I need that Sativa lift. The hash adds some extra body to the mix – thick oily hits of comfort.
Let’s talk about depression… today I’m writing this so no one has to be overly concerned about me when I talk about depression in the future, and I will.
Depression has been a life-long problem I have a lot of experience managing. I was first diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder back in 1998. At the time I dealt with both hypomanias and depression. Over time the hypomanias have faded and I’m left with chronic depression.
I experience chronic depression like this: Several times a month it comes in like a storm, regardless of what’s going on in my life – good or bad. It builds for about three or four days before I am completely sunk in it – at this point I’m in bed and sleeping, lots. Then it gradually weakens until I don’t feel it at all, or just slightly.
At this point I get to have days that are mostly clear of the monster. Those are great days. I get lots done, catch up on things I put off because of the depression and feel like I can take deep breaths.
In case you’re wondering, I have a doctor I see on a regular basis and several prescription meds I take faithfully. And I smoke marijuana to deal with the symptoms.
Marijuana has always been a medicine for me. The first time I smoked it, on March 23, 1983, I felt a comfort that I had never felt in my whole life. Up to that point I had never felt like I fit properly in my body – it’s like my soul doesn’t fit right in the physical body. Marijuana changed that. When I smoked that day my whole body, soul and spirit felt like it had become one. Let me tell you, feeling that had a POWERFUL impact on me.
But nobody talked about medical marijuana back in 1983. It just wasn’t an issue. So I self-medicated for years, vaguely aware of the fact I was doing just that – self-medicating with the herb.
In 1996 the idea of medical marijuana burst into the American consciousness with the passage of Prop 215 in California. Then I was diagnosed in 1998 with bi-polar disorder. At this point I realized what I had been doing for years was managing the illness that I didn’t know I had. The lights went on in my head and I found a purpose in life – legalizing medical marijuana for everyone. At that point I became an advocate.
It wasn’t until 2003 that I got my first medical recommendation for marijuana from my Kaiser Permanente doctor. I didn’t visit my first collective until 2007 and then I watched the collective scene grow from hole-in-the-wall storefronts to mega-operations. During that time I took thousands of photos for the collectives to use on their menus and smoked hundreds of different strain. It was an exciting, wild-west moment.
Later, after many fun adventures in the marijuana scene, I took a step back from the collective world, we moved to the hi-desert and I turned my attention and energies to my art and writing.
But my love of the herb and my use of it to manage my depression have not changed. After 38 years of finding health, healing, wellness and peace of mind and body I am proud to share the bits of wisdom I’ve gained along the way. So here we are.
Depression – I know that monster through and through. We’ve wrestled to the darkest depths and still it hasn’t beat me. I always bounce back and I know I can.
So, in the future, when I talk about depression, I am not talking about something light and trivial, nor is it something anyone needs to worry about for me… I’ve met the monster and I know my nemesis.
The Usefulness of Herb
I would love to say that herb is 100% effective in managing the symptoms of depression, but it’s not. I would give it an 80-90% effective rating. On the days when it hits hardest, I just have to lay in bed all day and the herb doesn’t have much effect. I’ll take a few hits, feel okay for about fifteen minutes and then the storm comes roaring back.
But that other 80-90% of the time. Hallelujah! Depression is the reason I don’t fit properly in my body and the herb fixes that right up – everyday. I count on it. Most of the time I don’t even smoke enough to get stoned, just a few hits to make my body comfortable and to lift my thinking – unless I’m filming a review 😉 I call this part of my wellness plan. The fact that I can smoke an herb that puts my mind and body in a better position is just one of the amazing things about living on this planet.
Cannabis – whether you use it recreationally or medicinally – or both – it’s a miracle plant!
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Until later, best of health ??